Gay Sex and the City #3

The most common and most used word. Instead of the usual word 'bf' (boyfriend), the community prefers to use LTR (stands for Long Term Relationship) which I felt was representable of us.

But somehow, I think that the word has been over-used and the meaning is gone.

According to most of the dictionary and acronyms website, LTR is straightforward and self-explanatory in its meaning.

In chatrooms and normal chats among friends, people would tend to use LTR as it is direct, straight to the point and may not be understood by the general public.

So what is LTR?
- LTR is an extended word of bf, which means you are supposed to live for long together.
- LTR is not just an ordinary bf.
- LTR is what hetero people call 'vow that we stay together forever'.

There should be a clear distinction between what is LTR and a bf. It seems that people nowadays are blind enough to point out that difference. Some use the word for 'the sake of using it' and end up being hurt or cause hurt to other party.

Okay, I know I am beating around the bush, but I have to emphasise the importance of using the right word in the right context. If you are not ready to commit, settle down, share your feelings, and etc, please please do not use the word LTR. Or really, don't even think of having a bf for yourself. Find a fun buddy or stick to singlehood.

Gay Sex and the City #2

Gay sex in the city 2
Top? Btm? Versatile? Which category are you under?

This is one of the few questions being asked whether you are in the chatrooms, dating someone, or when you are looking for a sex partner.

The term top, bottom, and versatile (also known as flex) has been widely used in the Gay circle.

I, for one, do not believe in any of this "nonsensical" terms as this only restricts my movement to be what I want to be. Let us look at this scenario:

Imagine if I am a top and I am looking for a bottom as a partner (be it sex or otherwise), it will be difficult for me as everytime when I found a top, I would have to reject him and said that I am looking for a bottom instead. Or worse, I would have to ask the top to be a bottom, which definitely will put the other guy in a tough situation. This goes the same for a bottom as well.

But when I am versatile (flex), I will be looking for someone who is also versatile for "matching" purposes. Or worse, when I am flex top or flex bottom and I have to look for the opposite of what I am.

Now looking at all this complicated terms, it seems that we are further categorising ourselves into different portions. It is like saying, "All bottoms, please move to the right. All tops, move up front."

We need to be mutual in order for all this to happen. Of course, if you say that you rather not do anal fun (like yours truly), then it saves all that trouble of top and bottom.

I would imagine one day if either one of the category is lopsided, then what would the other category be doing? Won't he have no choice at all, and be left alone?

I am not saying that it should be depleted from the gay community cause this is what sets us apart from the heterosexual world. But, shouldn't we think about it once in a while? I have thought about it and that what makes it difficult sometimes, when the raging hormones want me to shove it into his butt and/or when the butt is itching to receive that "poke".

Okay, I have been talking about sex all along. But what about in relationship? When you ask a couple who is bottom and top, or sometimes without asking, you may guess who takes on what role. It is normally being said as 'the guy and girl'.

The top is more aggressive, straight acting (lol!), acts as the man, show support and love for the bottom while the bottom is sometimes flamboyant, receives love and care from the top (and craves for them) and etc (you get the drift..)

What if for a change, both be the bottom and the top in the relationship. I would think it is more fun that way than doing 'what you are supposed to do'.

So, are you top, bottom, versatile or.. none?

Gay Sex and the City #1

Gay sex in the city 1
In this circle, there are 3 types of men, when it comes to sex of course:
1. The one who goes for non anal fun.
2. The one who goes for anal fun.
3. The one who goes for kinky sex (e.g. sado, bondage)

*I do not categorise masseurs as one of them as it is really up to them to offer special services*

Throughout my time being in Trevvy (then called Sgboy), it is normal for me to receive messages from unknown strangers who commented on my pictures and try to lead me on a sex-capade. But, being the cautious one, I offer a one-off ONS with no anal context. I have strict regulations on myself and of course, it is for my benefit. I do not want to get myself into trouble.

Some, after hearing it, would reject me there and then, but some agreed to it.

Looking back at it again, I believe that teenagers are lured too easily by this so-called hormones in them. I know, as I was one of them, and still am. But the main point is, teenagers as young as 11 are opening up too quickly, and are willing to try their luck on gay sex; risking their lives altogether.

I could only come up with 2 reasons why this happen:
1. No control
2. Peer Pressure

1. By no control, it means that these teenagers are either wild or their parents are not at home 90% of the time, due to work. It is this factor that is killing all the curiosity in these teenagers. As long as the kid is at home, the parents are fine with it and are always constantly reminding them not to open the door to strangers, but eventually, it happens.

These teens are undergoing the phase in their life where they want to know everything and they would like to try all those that they have seen in the TV or the internet. I know of someone whom I offered to coach him in his Mathematics for FREE. He replied by saying that since he couldn't afford to pay me in sum, he would pay me in other forms, such as sex. I directly rejected the offer and told him that I do not need to be paid and I am doing it for leisure.

2. Peer Pressure is of course the main root of all evil. When one friend describes his sex-capade as exciting and thrilling, the other would want to try it. And this leads to blind sex (sex without protection) and which will lead to unwanted spreading of diseases.

It is sometimes sad to see these teenagers, who have a bright future to be involved in all this. I sincerely hope something would be done to at least curb and protect them from future harm.

Yes, everywhere it is said to 'be safe and use a condom'. I agree with it. If you can't stop it totally, at least refrain from the spreading of HIV. I think the safest way is to settle down with a partner, know he/she is there for you for the rest of your lives and hope for the best in the future.

Me? I am still searching for the one to knock on my heart, before I open it.

The Lesbian, Gay and the Closet

How many people are really out and proud in Singapore?
1 out of 10 gays? 1 out of 100 gays? Or maybe even less?
Even I myself, can't be 100% certain that I'm proud, even though I'm out.
There are occasions when i hope my closet could still hide me..

There are on-going battles inside each of us.
Our true selves are calling out to be heard while our brains suppress it after considering factors such as discrimination etc.

At the end of the day, many people go back hiding into their prized closets, the facade which they tried so hard to maintain.

After some thoughts about the factors which contributed to the 'closet issue', I've managed to think of the following reasons: Law, Religion, or even both.

As governments of some countries do not wish to 'promote, advocate, endorse, or encourage homosexual behavior', they retained the law which criminalises 'any act of gross indecency' between two male, or sodomy. Though it is hardly enforced in some countries such as Singapore and India, it imposes a bad impression on homosexuality.

Religious wise, for example, Christianity and Islam, they deemed homosexuality to be immoral. Again, it generates an unhealthy attitude towards homosexuals just because of their sexual orientations.

In some Muslim countries such as Iran, where people are very religious, and the government actively enforces their anti-gay laws, the closet is the life of a gay man. Without the closet, your life is as good as gone, unless you are willing to undergo a sex change operation.

There might be more factors, however, these 2 are the main possible factors, which i could think of, that contributed to the higher rate of people being in the closet in different countries as compared to our western counterparts.

Homophobia is REAL and can be FATAL....

"I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian."

"I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman."

"I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights."

"We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time."

"I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room."

"I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me."

"I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again."

"I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear."

"We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men."

"I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me."

"I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman."

"I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman."

"I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male."

"I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men."

"I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that."

"I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual."

"I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me."

"I am the man who stopped attending place of worship, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind."

"I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love."

What you have read above are some of the major problem that PLU are facing every single mins, hours, days, weeks, months, years and so for... We urge the community to be open minded and treat the minors equally. afterall we are humans and we do have feelings.....